| | So life got hectic all of a sudden. I spent last week working in a school in Leamington, absolutely LOVED it and made me crave teaching even more...tomorrow I start at uni which will be good - that horrible fresher feeling is back though, where I have no idea what to expect and feel like I have to think out every part of my outfit and my pencil case and my hairstyle in order to impress people, because if you don't talk to people this week you end up not really knowing anyone, even though the people I talk to this week probably won't end up being the ones I'm close to. Ah the joys of starting uni!
I feel 18 again.
So today I have to read read read read read. I went to the uni library on Saturday to read all the books I couldn't find elsewhere and they had none in, they are all out until 2009...why?! So I have to tell my tutor that I haven't done the recommended audits and stuff....which I'm hoping doesn't give a bad first impression because I'm going to need my tutor to be on my side this year!
I'm such a worrier. Ben tells me off for it. I'm sure it'll all be great and once I get there it'll just happen and be fine, but the day before...worryworryworry.
And on top of all that we have our flatwarming on Friday which will be really fun but also a nightmare to organise as Ben and I will now be out of the house full time and Ben probably won't get in til 7.30 on Friday. Apparantly he might have to go to Carlisle soon, overnight again. This was NOT in the job description. Well, apparantly it was but I don't remember it.
And then on Sunday we have to go down to Weston-Super-Mare for Ben's cousins baptism. Which will be lovely, it will be nice to see all the family again who we haven't seen since the wedding.
Then next Thursday is my nan's funeral in London. She died last week which was a bit of a shock. She's been in hospital for ages with a broken hip, and they found all sorts of other problems that they could fix while she was in there, and then they had this big meeting a couple of weeks ago with all the nurses and carers and her and my mum and some aunties and uncles to decide what happens when she's ready to leave hospital, and they decided she'd have an operation to solve some of her throat problems and then go into a nursing home and she seemed happy with that and it all looked really positive. Then the next day she took all her feeding tubes out and said that she didn't want to carry on anymore. She died in the early hours of Sunday morning, last week. My mum rang me at 3am. They'd all been called in and mum had been there when it happened which she appreciated. It's strange though, one of those things that actually has a massive impact on your life...my nan isn't around anymore, it changes a lot, and yet you have no idea that it's going to happen. We woke up one day and were told she'd decided to die. She was very positive about it, she's a christian and all she kept saying was she wanted to go home, she wasn't happy, she wasn't comfortable, and she just kept saying "I just want to be with Jesus". Which actually, is pretty brave. She took out all her tubes and had morphine to relieve the pain. Mum and some of her sisters sat with her all day and all night leading up to her dying. Mum had been staying down the road on the night she died, with another sister sleeping at the hospital.
But it's just one of those things that you can't get your head around. Your world changes in a week. And I can't imagine what my mum is going through. She's organised the funeral and everything and is working so hard to keep all the family happy (my mum is one of 10 kids).
So lots has gone on. Life suddenly got hectic and yet today I'm back in my pyjamas at midday, reading the Times Education Supplement and waiting for Ben to get home. It's the last day I can do this, tomorrow the busyness of a PGCE hits and I'm a 9-5er. I need to go to town actually, buy a 'Unirider' ticket for the bus into campus. Should probably get dressed....
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| | Posted 9/15/2008 12:01 PM - 22 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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